So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
