It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
