it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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