They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
