People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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