Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
