nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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