TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
