it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
