he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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