I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
