so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
