rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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