just tell him i said nine months
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
