id be glad to
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
try to milk me bitch
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