Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
