dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
