I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
