The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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