all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
