don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My vagina just clenched in fear
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
