i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
