I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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