The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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