I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
