This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Randomize
