6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
