I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
