I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
