i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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