I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
