At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
