Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
