my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
