don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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