i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
