Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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