he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
