I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
