Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
