Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
