What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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