That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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