Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize