why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
