Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
