If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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