why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
tell me about the fingering
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
