well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
