I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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