I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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